running up that hill

I am back from London :) I headed off yesterday morning, a bit earlier than I needed to to meet my friend cause I wanted to buy a necklace after managing to break the one I usually wear. So I naturally ended up in Oxford Circus Topshop because one can never spend enough time there! Got the necklace (pics later!) and went back to Picadilly for lunch at a conveyor belt sushi restaurant I've been to loads of times. I thought I'd feel weird eating on my own but there were actually loads of people doing it, out for lunch from work I guess. London really makes me laugh sometimes, it was just typical that every person or group of people left two empty chairs beside them and didn't want to sit 'next' to someone else along the conveyor belt! The capital is a bit antisocial I guess...

After my lunch I went to Cybercandy and bought some laffy taffy and candy corn, just for fun. Then I got the bus from Leicester Square to Pimlico where my friend lives. The bus goes through Parliament Square and I was sitting at the top front of a double decker - check my tourist pic!



I've lived in the suburbs near London since I was about five, and seen Parliament Square loads of times...but I still like taking pictures. The other passengers were rolling their eyes I'm sure! After some random wandering around Piccadilly area and a stop for coffee (well, I had a white choc frap actually) we came back to get ready for the evening and I took some vain photos ;)



new necklace :) clearly I am not actually a vampire despite the sleeping habits!



quite a new dress too, worn for the first time. I LOVE it, but the funny/slightly annoying part is that cause it's ruched at the hem it constantly feels like you've inadvertently tucked the hem into your underwear or something! ok, slight overshare but it's amusing! hope it doesn't seem like I am posting photos of myself for ED'd reasons by the way, I am quite acutely aware at the moment that I'm still underweight (and I hope this awareness lasts!). Quite a few times during the evening I was plagued by wishing that I could be at a healthy weight like the friends I was out with. Of course I know I CAN, it's the process which is hard. But sometimes I get impatient which I know is silly because there will be huge ups and downs on the way and I can't try to run before I can walk given what a huge and terrifying thing weight restoration will be for me. Just the fact that I had those feelings is real progress though! I feel like it signifies a more general attitude shift - during previous recovery attempts I've resented 'having' to gain weight and been triggered by anything and everything. Now things which might have triggered me just make me angry or sad in a productive way. I think this is because I'm truly 'ready' though, and taking things at a pace I know I can handle. So I refuse to try to run before I can walk, because I want it to last!

Ok, huge tangent! So obviously after the photowhoring we went out, first for dinner at an Italian on Picadilly, then to the Sports Cafe near Leicester Square. Lots of this was involved...



and I confess I may have drank two of those! we moved on to a club at 1-ish and by that time I was more drunk than I think I've been this year, actually! much to my friend's amusement I also spent a fair amount of time dancing with and talking to a couple of guys, one in the bar and one at the club (I may or may not be giving you the PG rated version of that story...) it's quite amusing and a nice chance because during the few periods of my late teens when I was relatively speaking more healthy I had a reputation for shunning serious relationships but always having a 'fling' of some kind on the go. not in a bad way, my friends are open minded enough to know that being single can be fun and doesn't have to involve being totally promiscuous! naturally, when I was really ill I didn't care and got no interest anyway, so it's nice to have at least a little bit of my old self back. perhaps one day I will settle down though...but I guess I'm young yet.

clearly, this morning I woke up with a killer headache at midday! get this though - I persuaded my friend (who clearly has excellent taste) that lunch at Wholefoods was the obvious solution to a hangover. unfortunately it took us an hour and a half to get there due to poor knowledge of the bus system so by the time we ate I was absolutely starving...as demonstrated below...



before being demolished it contained egg noodles, penne pasta and a heck of a lot of baked tofu...yum! the ice mocha drink was brilliant too, I was in need of coffee and it only took a little persuasion to tell myself I needed that on top of what was a pretty big salad bar haul to make up breakfast and lunch.

tonight has been pretty uneventful but I went for another run, which went really well after my realisation that I need to take it slow if I want to do longer distances. I only upped it to 2.5k, but I slowed the pace a fair bit and by the end I felt good and like I could have carried on - great because the other day when I did 1.5 it was more of a 'thank God, don't think I could have run another step' sort of finish. I didn't push it though, I walked another km home so to run the whole way is going to be a good next step. I can't wait til I get to uni and can join the gym though cause I know at this stage with my weight etc I should be doing more strength training than cardio. it feels good to do something in collaboration with my body though, instead of waging a war of self destruction against it the whole time!

I'm going to a vegan fair in London with Katie tomorrow which I'm pretty excited for! slightly ironic being that I'm most definitely not vegan but hey, any excuse for a day out :) I'm sure I will return with more silly tourist pics of London and so on...